I Saw You Today (First Draft)

(Originally posted on 12/18/2011)

I saw you today.

It had been so long.

I thought that I missed you.

I was surprised that I didn’t.

It took so long to say goodbye to the memory of you.

And even when I did, I realized I was holding onto nothing special.

You said hello.  You ask how I’ve been.

I had nothing to say.  I was more interested in the way I was seeing you now compared to way back then.

No longer was I blind to the person you really are.

No longer was there any feeling or emotions clouding my vision.

The scars you left on my heart served to make my vision clear.

The rose colored view had been washed away.

I saw the failure that you are, failure as a person, as a human being.

I saw the leech that you have become, or, have always been.

I saw every lie you used to break my heart.

I saw beyond your outer beauty to the evil creature within.

I saw a darkened, ugly, black heart incapable of any love other than the narcissistic, self love you have for your self.

I saw everything that you truly are, and I can’t believe that I fell for your facade.

When I choose not to reply, but only smile, you ask me why.

The smile grows into a grin.  How much I’ve grown, how much you have not.

When I walk away, without a word, you made one last attempt and ask me why I hate you so.

I think, I don’t hate you.  To hate you would imply that care about your existence.

In reality, I have not only said goodbye, but I’ve forgotten you.

And without memories of you, you are nothing.  That is what you were when you came in.  That is what you are now that I pushed you out.

The smile on my face says it all.  Because when I turned my back on you without a word, I had a smile on my face.

So when I saw you today,  I knew my choice to forget you was right.