Monday, April 15, 2013

Let's see how this plays out...a cynical view

In reference to a Facebook posting I made over the craziness of the Boston Marathon bombings, someone replied "Let's see how this plays out."  Seriously?  Like you don't already know!  Here is exactly how this will play out.

The democrats will blame the republicans.  The republicans will blame the democrats.  Everyone will blame Obama.  The christians will blame the gays.  The gun nuts will rant about how it could have been avoided if someone wasn't trying to take away their rights to carry guns everywhere they go, and the anti-gun nuts will rave that it was all because gun nuts are carrying their guns everywhere they go.  The capitalist will work to find any angle to make money off of the whole event, and the little, old man who got blown over during the initial blast will be working on finding the best offer for his book/movie deal.  Some of the runners will complain how they were wronged because they didn't get the chance to finish their marathon, and others will tell every camera in a quarter mile radius how much they were traumatized, even though they were nowhere near the event.  The right-wingers will point their fingers at the lower and middle classes and attempt to use this event to give themselves a raise while at the same time exempting themselves from some new marathon tax.  Gas will go up $.25 cents/gallon and our troops will have to spend another 6 months overseas.  Former President Bush will use today to push his agenda to go after some totally unrelated country or "non-American" group that hurt his daddy's feelings.  The secessionist will play this off as yet another reason not to stay a part of the USA.  The left-wingers will begin a tirade about how, when they finally catch the asses responsible for this tragedy, that said asses be given all of their due rights.  Every preacher/priest/religious leader in every corner of the country will rant on how this is yet another example of gods punishment for the country being so progressive and Westburo Baptist Church will start making new "God Hates Fags" signs for the protest they plan for the funerals of the fallen.  Someone will figure out a way to sue someone else because they were so distraught when they heard the news that they wrecked their car.  Lifetime will begin casting Meredith Baxter for their touchy-feely rendition of the bombings.  Everyone in their dog will start pushing for excessive safety everywhere, and lawmakers will put silly laws into place preventing people from doing anything that "might seem suspicious" knowing full well that those laws won't be enforced in a few months time because they are inconvenient.  Since the propagandist news initially reported that one person of interest was "dark skinned or black," every sheep in the country will stereotype anyone who is "dark skinned or black" and all sorts of racial issues will resurface.  The sheep of the world will be glued to their television watching every A or B list television/movie star comments on how "we should all get along " while those same stars are doing nothing more than using today as a way to get a little more face time.  ASPCA will be calling up Sarah McLachlan to update their tear-jerk commercials with footage of animals that weren't rescued because of the bombings.  Marathon sponsors will be searching for examples of people wearing their brands during the bombing footage so that they can update their sales pitches and go for the sympathy sale.  The President will figure out a way to use today as a reason to not finish some of the things he promised during his election and Senators and Representatives will be working hard to squeeze every penny out of the lobbyist that will be using today to support some non-related agenda.  Insurance companies will be working on ways to justify not paying for the medical bills that resulted from the bombings, and conspiracy theorist will find some way to link the whole event back to the faked moon landing or the assassination of JFK.  And in two weeks time, no one will care what happened this dark April 15th, opting to turn to the latest episode of Honey Boo Boo or the Voice, getting angry when their "stories" are interrupted for yet another "breaking update" of the event.  The sheep will go on with their boring, dreary lives waiting for the next "exciting" tragedy because, now that all the finger pointing is done, it is no longer interesting.

I know this is all coming from my cynical self, but tell me I am wrong.

(PS - I realize this is nowhere near one of my best writings.  I wrote this in about 10 minutes while in a very irked state at the very sheepish attitudes and responses to the catastrophe.  It doesn't matter when or where it took place.  It was a sin against civilized human beings, and we should all be angry.  Sad part is that the sheep will only be selfish and make it about them.  Only when people wise up, pay attention, stop being so damn selfish, and educate themselves will things like this stop happening.  Sheep.  Ugh.)

(PPS - before all of my current and former students start emailing me about the several capitalization "errors," I want to say that they are all intentional.)