Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Birthday Wishes

(Originally Posted 04/11/2011)

Yeah, I know.  Seems kinda selfish and pretentious to post my birthday wishes on my blog page, but, because I care, and I realize that some of you are stressing HARD about what you are going to do to celebrate my special day, I am providing the following list for you.  Plus, it's my page and my birthday, dammit, so here they are!  (You only have 7 days left, so better hurry!)

PS...I don't think any of these "wishes" are too much to ask...
  • A winning lottery ticket.  Doesn't have to be "the big one," just a couple mil so that I can get out of this goshforsaken debt!  And throw a big party.  PS - note the key word in there...WINNING lottery ticket.
  • Never hafta clean my bathroom again.  Don't get me wrong - I need it cleaned, I just don't want to be the one to clean it!  I will do the rest of the house, but I HATE cleaning bathrooms!  If you volunteer to do this chore for me, then you will be free from having to gift any other birthdays for the rest of my life!
  • A new wardrobe.  While you at it, I need to lose about 90 more pounds, get rid of my widows peak, and get some face work done (save the cracks, you jerks!).  After that, you can throw in the wardrobe.
  • I needa meet Jake Gyllenhaal.  Don't read into it!  I just think he's a gifted actor and I love his movies.  If you love me, you will make it happen.  'Nuf said
  • I miss birthday cards from my family with $$$ in them!  They stopped happening around the time I was 25.  What’s that all about!??!!
  • Lower gas prices...again.  I filled up my car the other day and it cost me nearly 60 bucks!  WTF!!!  A gas card perhaps!? :D
  • A little understanding and for people to swallow their own damn pride!  I am so sick of all of this crap where people are bashing each other because of gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, etc.  Get over yourselves!  Were all different - that's what keeps life interesting.
  • Get rid of the ENTIRE current population of our government and start over from scratch with people in those spots!  Some of those geezers have been there since dirt was invented and are more interested in their own selves than the people the represent.
  • The perfect relationship!  No liars, not cheats, no losers, no wimps, no jealous drama laden person who takes more than they give.  Someone to spend my days and nights with, good and bad.  I know there out there!  They just keep eluding me!  (Honestly, at this point, I would settle for A relationship!  Man, these nights are getting COLD!)
  • Did I mention a winning lottery ticket?
  • A second job!  The industry is so bad right now and I am SOOOOO broke I can't pay for that damn expensive gas to get back and forth to work!  I'll do anything!  Just use me for something!  I ain't picky!  (Wait, that sounds really bad! - don't be pervs!)
  • <I am reserving this spot for when I think of more things that I want for my birthday…>  If you think of anything else I might want, let me know and I'll add it to the list!  Maybe.
I know, I know.  Wishful thinking.  Truth is, I'm alive, I'm relatively healthy, I have the greatest kiddo one could ask for, and I have the best friends and family that a person could ask for!  I am going to spend the evening out with them on Saturday to ring in my 36th (ugh) birthday, so that’s what will make me happy for my birthday.  Plus, they are all obligated to buy me a shot!

PS – I wasn’t kidding about the gas card and $$$ in a cardJust sayin.

No comments:

Post a Comment