You might have noticed the change in venue...
As I approach the time of renewing my web service contract, I have decided that it is no longer worth the cost. And why pay, when I can get it free.
I did move all of the more interesting post and previous comments to this location. They are all here. I still have some layout work to do, and with these preset tools,
So, Dwayne's World Blog is now hosted here, and I will make attempts to write more often.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Giving Unwanted Thanks to a Soldier
(Originally posted on 03/27/2012)
Don’t let the title fool you. While I don’t support this silly war, I fully support our soldiers who are risking life and limb. But something happened this weekend while Syd and I were at Fiesta Texas that has been bothering me, and so, I write this to get a little feedback, and maybe put my mind at ease, and as usual, to just vent.
So here is the scenario. Syd and I were having a daddy/daughter day at Fiesta Texas this weekend. We had spent the entire day riding every roller coaster we would find because we both love them so much. In between the Superman and the Scream, we decided to take a break. We stopped at a park picnic area and sat to enjoy the shade.
Also enjoying the shade was, based on the clothing that he was wearing, a young solder. He couldn’t have been more than 25 or 26 years old. He was in a wheel chair and both of his legs were missing. He wore a below the knee prosthetic leg on his right leg, and his left leg was missing below the knee. He was wearing a USMC T-shirt, had several military stickers on his chair, and had his cammo backpack on the back of his chair. He was with a friend, also in causal military attire, and was sitting beside baby carriage, which was cradling a very small child. The carriage had a USMC kiddie blanket over it protecting the kiddo from the sun. His friend was video taping what I assume was their wives riding the Merry-Go-Round with another small child, around 3 or 4 years old. The spouses and, even the 4 year old, were all wearing T-shirts advertising military connections.
As we sat, Syd was staring, as young kiddos do, and I asked her not to do so. She asked me what happened to the guy in the chair. I explained to her that he was a soldier, that he had been fighting in the war, and was injured while in battle. I told her that, sometimes, our soldiers who fight for our freedom, or the freedoms of others, volunteer their lives, health, and physical safety to maintain our ideas. Of course, I didn’t mention to her that, in this current war, they are risking their lives to maintain our governments need to stick our noses in other peoples business and police the world, but I digress. I explained to Syd that sometimes, during the course of their duties, soldiers are seriously injured, as in this case, and loose their limbs. She said she felt sorry for him, and I told her not to. I told her that he made it home and gets to see his children grow up and be with his family. I told her that, yes, it sucks that he is going to be wheelchair bound for the rest of his life, but that many soldiers don’t even get that. Many soldiers die in battle and their children don’t get to see them again. I explained all this to her quietly out of ear shot of the soldier and his family and friends.
She sat quietly for awhile mulling over and processing all we talked about, and then asked if it would be okay if she could go say thank you to him. I was very proud of my little girl, and said that should could go say thank you. But before we could stand up, an older couple walked up to the soldier, and humbly apologized for interrupting the soldiers day with his family. The woman then crossed and blessed the soldier and thanked him for his sacrifice. He said thank you, and the older couple walked away. Immediately after, a small group of guys approached the soldier and his family and struck up a conversation about the fact that the group of guys was enjoying their last weekend in town before being shipped out for their tours overseas. They chatted for a few minutes, and all of the group of guys said they were proud to be serving, and, that even though they didn’t know the wounded solder personally, they considered him a hero. He thanked them, and the group of new soldiers departed.
As we stood up to head over, one of the wives sighed heavily, and said, very loud, “I get so sick of that shit!” The legless soldier said “If I hear one more thank you for your service I am going to shoot myself.” The friend and his wife made similar rude and dismissive comments. They all laughed and walked/rolled away. Sydney looked at me and said “Never mind, daddy. I don’t want to say thank you anymore.” My heart broke for her. Her image of this would-be hero was broken.
I stood there dumbfounded. I can imagine that it was devastating to loose his legs. I can imagine that even hearing the constant thank yous might get a little old. I even get that the constant interruptions to family time can get a little irritating. And, even though many new soldiers go into battle with visions of grandeur and becoming a hero, I also know that, when reality sets in and it becomes plainly obvious that, sometimes, serving can leave a soldier in a chair for their rest of their lives, shunning or laughing at those who want to thank them for their services is downright insulting.
We spend our days hearing and seeing “support our soldiers” and most of really do. We love and support the brave men and women who serve our country and, sometimes, pay the ultimate price for that service. I just couldn’t believe that this soldier and his family acted the way that they did. If he didn’t want the attention, they why was he advertising the fact that he was in the military?
It took everything I had not to go up to him and punch him in the head. I shouldn’t let it bother me, but it did. Their very poor attitude and comments harmed my daughters image of what a soldier and a hero is. I maintained myself, and we walked away to enjoy the rest of our day.
Am I reading too much into it?
Either way, I am giving a big thank you to all those who serve in the military. If you don’t want the thank you, too damn bad. You are getting it anyway.
Just sayin’.
_______________________
Comments to original post
Don’t let the title fool you. While I don’t support this silly war, I fully support our soldiers who are risking life and limb. But something happened this weekend while Syd and I were at Fiesta Texas that has been bothering me, and so, I write this to get a little feedback, and maybe put my mind at ease, and as usual, to just vent.
So here is the scenario. Syd and I were having a daddy/daughter day at Fiesta Texas this weekend. We had spent the entire day riding every roller coaster we would find because we both love them so much. In between the Superman and the Scream, we decided to take a break. We stopped at a park picnic area and sat to enjoy the shade.
Also enjoying the shade was, based on the clothing that he was wearing, a young solder. He couldn’t have been more than 25 or 26 years old. He was in a wheel chair and both of his legs were missing. He wore a below the knee prosthetic leg on his right leg, and his left leg was missing below the knee. He was wearing a USMC T-shirt, had several military stickers on his chair, and had his cammo backpack on the back of his chair. He was with a friend, also in causal military attire, and was sitting beside baby carriage, which was cradling a very small child. The carriage had a USMC kiddie blanket over it protecting the kiddo from the sun. His friend was video taping what I assume was their wives riding the Merry-Go-Round with another small child, around 3 or 4 years old. The spouses and, even the 4 year old, were all wearing T-shirts advertising military connections.
As we sat, Syd was staring, as young kiddos do, and I asked her not to do so. She asked me what happened to the guy in the chair. I explained to her that he was a soldier, that he had been fighting in the war, and was injured while in battle. I told her that, sometimes, our soldiers who fight for our freedom, or the freedoms of others, volunteer their lives, health, and physical safety to maintain our ideas. Of course, I didn’t mention to her that, in this current war, they are risking their lives to maintain our governments need to stick our noses in other peoples business and police the world, but I digress. I explained to Syd that sometimes, during the course of their duties, soldiers are seriously injured, as in this case, and loose their limbs. She said she felt sorry for him, and I told her not to. I told her that he made it home and gets to see his children grow up and be with his family. I told her that, yes, it sucks that he is going to be wheelchair bound for the rest of his life, but that many soldiers don’t even get that. Many soldiers die in battle and their children don’t get to see them again. I explained all this to her quietly out of ear shot of the soldier and his family and friends.
She sat quietly for awhile mulling over and processing all we talked about, and then asked if it would be okay if she could go say thank you to him. I was very proud of my little girl, and said that should could go say thank you. But before we could stand up, an older couple walked up to the soldier, and humbly apologized for interrupting the soldiers day with his family. The woman then crossed and blessed the soldier and thanked him for his sacrifice. He said thank you, and the older couple walked away. Immediately after, a small group of guys approached the soldier and his family and struck up a conversation about the fact that the group of guys was enjoying their last weekend in town before being shipped out for their tours overseas. They chatted for a few minutes, and all of the group of guys said they were proud to be serving, and, that even though they didn’t know the wounded solder personally, they considered him a hero. He thanked them, and the group of new soldiers departed.
As we stood up to head over, one of the wives sighed heavily, and said, very loud, “I get so sick of that shit!” The legless soldier said “If I hear one more thank you for your service I am going to shoot myself.” The friend and his wife made similar rude and dismissive comments. They all laughed and walked/rolled away. Sydney looked at me and said “Never mind, daddy. I don’t want to say thank you anymore.” My heart broke for her. Her image of this would-be hero was broken.
I stood there dumbfounded. I can imagine that it was devastating to loose his legs. I can imagine that even hearing the constant thank yous might get a little old. I even get that the constant interruptions to family time can get a little irritating. And, even though many new soldiers go into battle with visions of grandeur and becoming a hero, I also know that, when reality sets in and it becomes plainly obvious that, sometimes, serving can leave a soldier in a chair for their rest of their lives, shunning or laughing at those who want to thank them for their services is downright insulting.
We spend our days hearing and seeing “support our soldiers” and most of really do. We love and support the brave men and women who serve our country and, sometimes, pay the ultimate price for that service. I just couldn’t believe that this soldier and his family acted the way that they did. If he didn’t want the attention, they why was he advertising the fact that he was in the military?
It took everything I had not to go up to him and punch him in the head. I shouldn’t let it bother me, but it did. Their very poor attitude and comments harmed my daughters image of what a soldier and a hero is. I maintained myself, and we walked away to enjoy the rest of our day.
Am I reading too much into it?
Either way, I am giving a big thank you to all those who serve in the military. If you don’t want the thank you, too damn bad. You are getting it anyway.
Just sayin’.
_______________________
Comments to original post
Rosalinda Witherspoon · ITT Technical Institute
I
thank no soldiers I also feel they are bothered by it, I have a son in
the Navy and thank him all the time, it never bothers him I think he
enjoys hearing, Thank you, and he's a proud great kid, well my kid that
is. Lol.
Just explain there are good soldiers and bad soldiers Just like there are good people and they are bad people.
Just explain there are good soldiers and bad soldiers Just like there are good people and they are bad people.
March 27 at 10:30am
Hunter Hempfling · Subscribed · Works at Chapel Hill UMC
I
would have felt the same as you did. I infact do say thank you to
soldiers for maintaining my freedom and if they do not understand it
applies for all soldiers then they are stupid. I thank them all not just
the ones that came home with lost limbs. people sometimes don't realize
that what they say can crush a child unbeknownst to them. I mean I
trhank all people for any survise they provide to me its common courtesy
jeez, what has happened to being humble and having manners?
March 27 at 4:08pm
Angela Sledge Stelzer · Works at Arizona Department of Veterans' Services
DI
I was a soldier. I was injured. I will end up in a chair most likely
sooner than later. My injury took 7 yrs to come almost completely
debilitating. In my job people know I am a Vet. I can't hold the job
otherwise. It makes me very uncomfortable when I am thanked for my or my
husbands service. I do not know ow one who served could be so rude to
those who realize that their freedoms are because of these soldiers. I
never know how to react as I don't feel that a thank you is warranted. I
did my job. This young Marine was in the wrong. He is obviously proud
of his service to advertise his USMC status. I am sorry that this was
Syds introduction to wounded soldiers. There are many that she sees
everyday that she doesn't even realize are soldiers. These soldiers came
home and did not pity themselves. They came home and overcame th
e
burdens of battle and reintegrated themselves into society. They most
likely still suffer but they don't pity themselves or expect it from
anyone else. The young Marine you saw most likely felt that people only
thanked him out of pity which is hard to deal with with. This young man
has been traumatized and most likely suffers with PTSD along with other
serious unseen injuries. Give him time to grow up. In a few years he
will most likely calm down and gain some perspective. I am not defending
this young Marine. He was wrong in his reaction as was his spouse.
(Spouses really get me angry) but it is not always what it seems. This
man is fighting some serious demons and with maturity he will learn to
be more gracious. I when approached will quietly thank the person and
try to move on. Syd will have a lot of opportunity to meet more mature
soldiers. Please don't allow this man to ruin Syds view of those who
fight for her freedoms whether in reality or in the case of this war in
ideals. Most soldiers are quiet and uncomfortable with thank yous but
will accept and appreciate them. I appreciated your taking the time to
teach Syd about these things. Thank you for taking the time to explain
these important things to her. If you get a chance try to explain to her
about quiet demons such as PTSD, TBI, depression and resentment that
young soldiers often face when they come home in the prime of their
lives in a state that has robbed them of their youth. Most will mature,
but coming home while wonderful is a very hard transition to make
especially when one is seriously wounded.
March 27 at 1:24pm
- Dwayne Isbell · Registrar at ITT Technical Institute, East Campus
Thank you for that response. I wanted to reply, and say, from the viewpoint of someone who didn't serve (not because I didn't want to but because I wasn't allowed to), that any person who puts their lives on the line for me and for my child is a hero and my thanks will always go out to you. It doesn't matter what you did in the military - from cleaning latrines to firing on the front lines - you put your life on the line, and because of that, you and every person who serves time is a hero in my book. And I want my child to feel the same way. I think what bothered me more than anything was the fact that her image of this type of person (military individual, regardless of their disability) was shattered. I understand where you come from, but you, your husband, and even this soldier at the park, deserve thanks from every perso
n enjoying our freedoms. I will continue to explain to Syd and I will add in the explanations that you suggested. She will get past it. She understands my father and grandfather were military, and she respects them and understands their roles. I get that soldiers don't go into the military expecting thanks upon their return. It doesn't mean that they don't deserve that thanks. I also get that he probably has been getting the constant attention due to his disability since he got out of the military, but, as a soldier, a representative of our brave, there are better ways of handling it. Again, Angie, thanks for the perspective. It is always appreciated. Hopefully his mental and emotional wounds will heal, even if they take longer than his physical wounds.March 27 at 1:43pm
Lisa Stiles Ellison · Director of Sales at Staybridge Suites Lubbock
My
feeling is, if he didn't want the "publicity" of being a soldier that
served this great country of ours... DON'T ADVERTISE IT! If I were a
soldier and was injured to the extent of his injuries, I would not wear
apparel that told that I was military, nor would I adorn my
vehicle/wheelchair with military stickers. If you don't want the
attention, as in this case, then don't advertise it. That makes me sad
for Syd that she had to see that, because I am sure that it his a very
rare case of bitterness. There are plenty of great men and women that
have served, gotten injured, and still like for people, such as us, to
go out of our way to Thank them! Tell her to keep her head up, and not
let this discourage her from Thanking a Soldier!
March 27 at 10:16am
- Johnny Hale · Wylie High School
I served in Vietnam and I got my first thank you for serving just a few months back. When we first got home some people would spit on us if they knew we were Vietnam veterns. It never happened to me but I heard of it.March 27 at 10:49am
Elizabeth Smith · Subscribed · ITT Technical Institute
This
guy was probably a classless jerk before he became a soldier anyway. I
hope Syd will get past this and know that there are just terrible, mean,
bitter people in the world. I don't know why all the "advertisement"
for the Marines if he isn't proud to be one! This made me sad for Syd
and our country. Thank you for sharing...and I share in your outrage
both as a former soldier and military spouse.
March 27 at 10:24am
Mindy Brewster · Centerton, Arkansas
I
am not sure what to think about this situation. How he reacted very
publicly was indeed wrong. He may be extremely proud to be USMC however
if he does not wish for attention then he needs to take down the
stickers.
I agree with Angela about the trauma this person suffered.
I am a very Proud Navy wife and there are time that I don't want to go about town strutting the Navy because we are there to have fun family time without distraction. Other times I will sport anything that say NAVY on it.
I hope this man finds a more mature approach to the situation in the future.
I agree with Angela about the trauma this person suffered.
I am a very Proud Navy wife and there are time that I don't want to go about town strutting the Navy because we are there to have fun family time without distraction. Other times I will sport anything that say NAVY on it.
I hope this man finds a more mature approach to the situation in the future.
March 27 at 2:18pm
- Ashley Sasser
wow my kids tell everyone military person in uniform thank u that is shocking and cruleMarch 27 at 7:21pm
I Saw You Today (First Draft)
(Originally posted on 12/18/2011)
I saw you today.
It had been so long.
I thought that I missed you.
I was surprised that I didn’t.
It took so long to say goodbye to the memory of you.
And even when I did, I realized I was holding onto nothing special.
You said hello. You ask how I’ve been.
I had nothing to say. I was more interested in the way I was seeing you now compared to way back then.
No longer was I blind to the person you really are.
No longer was there any feeling or emotions clouding my vision.
The scars you left on my heart served to make my vision clear.
The rose colored view had been washed away.
I saw the failure that you are, failure as a person, as a human being.
I saw the leech that you have become, or, have always been.
I saw every lie you used to break my heart.
I saw beyond your outer beauty to the evil creature within.
I saw a darkened, ugly, black heart incapable of any love other than the narcissistic, self love you have for your self.
I saw everything that you truly are, and I can’t believe that I fell for your facade.
When I choose not to reply, but only smile, you ask me why.
The smile grows into a grin. How much I’ve grown, how much you have not.
When I walk away, without a word, you made one last attempt and ask me why I hate you so.
I think, I don’t hate you. To hate you would imply that care about your existence.
In reality, I have not only said goodbye, but I’ve forgotten you.
And without memories of you, you are nothing. That is what you were when you came in. That is what you are now that I pushed you out.
The smile on my face says it all. Because when I turned my back on you without a word, I had a smile on my face.
So when I saw you today, I knew my choice to forget you was right.
I saw you today.
It had been so long.
I thought that I missed you.
I was surprised that I didn’t.
It took so long to say goodbye to the memory of you.
And even when I did, I realized I was holding onto nothing special.
You said hello. You ask how I’ve been.
I had nothing to say. I was more interested in the way I was seeing you now compared to way back then.
No longer was I blind to the person you really are.
No longer was there any feeling or emotions clouding my vision.
The scars you left on my heart served to make my vision clear.
The rose colored view had been washed away.
I saw the failure that you are, failure as a person, as a human being.
I saw the leech that you have become, or, have always been.
I saw every lie you used to break my heart.
I saw beyond your outer beauty to the evil creature within.
I saw a darkened, ugly, black heart incapable of any love other than the narcissistic, self love you have for your self.
I saw everything that you truly are, and I can’t believe that I fell for your facade.
When I choose not to reply, but only smile, you ask me why.
The smile grows into a grin. How much I’ve grown, how much you have not.
When I walk away, without a word, you made one last attempt and ask me why I hate you so.
I think, I don’t hate you. To hate you would imply that care about your existence.
In reality, I have not only said goodbye, but I’ve forgotten you.
And without memories of you, you are nothing. That is what you were when you came in. That is what you are now that I pushed you out.
The smile on my face says it all. Because when I turned my back on you without a word, I had a smile on my face.
So when I saw you today, I knew my choice to forget you was right.
The Talk...Part I
(Originally08/01/2011 posted
I had to endure a very traumatic event this weekend. All parents fear it. Dad’s dread it. I was hoping the day would never come. But, alas, it finally arrived. Amy (if your not familiar with my nicknames for family and friends, see the Cast link on the menu, and try to keep up!) finally asked the right questions, which lead to the dreaded talk. I am still shaking.
First and foremost, you all know that Amy is my one and only, and I have no backups. So I am a bit over protective (look at previous post), and have been very persistent in keeping her naive to some of the oddities and realities that come along with the discovery of sex, gender roles, and all the damage that puberty does to the human teenager. She doesn’t watch movies that have any kind of sex references to them, we avoid those “not so fresh feeling” commercials, and when the general question of “how did the baby get in there” has arisen, we always tell her “we will tell you later” or revert to immaculate conception myths. She knows I put her in her mommy’s tummy, but has no concept of how, and we are perfectly happy with that. After all, I thought kissing is how my mom got pregnant with me until I was 12.
She spent most of the summer with her cousins. Her older cousin, who is now 13, somehow managed to blossom from the cute little rambunctious tom boy into a young woman in the matter of less than a year since we last saw them. My jaw almost dropped when she walked in and looked 19 years old! Her younger sister is already on the cusp on blossoming, and we knew that during the time they were going to be hanging out over the summer, someone what gonna notice something, and questions would be asked. We just hoped that we would have another year before having to answer. Sadly, that was not to be the case.
We went to visit them and their grandmothers house, and decided to take the girls swimming. Her older cousin said that she would be staying behind. When Amy asked why, all she said was that she couldn’t go swimming today. All the way to the pool, Amy asked again and again why her cousin couldn’t go swimming with them, and we kept saying that we would tell her later. Luckily, no more questions.
But this weekend, she marched me and Connie into Connie’s room, sat us on the bed, and said (and I quote)
CRAP! There was no getting out of it this time. (No, she wasn’t wearing combat boots with matching oven mitts….just go with it!)
Well, I figured, I am a teacher. Granted, I teach adults, but this little inquisitive creature in front of me couldn’t be all that different. But, nonetheless, I am a teacher, and I could teach anything! I would just have to use not so technical terms and lots of visual aids. So I cranked up the Internet, Google imaged several cross section of that mysterious female anatomy, considered throwing together a nice PowerPoint, and started my lecture. (Connie helped, of course).
I explained that as boys and girls grow older, their bodies change. (Luckily, I didn’t have to say more about boy parts or boy changes at this point…she was perfectly happy to hear about her own expected changes and leave it at that). I explained that those changes included getting taller, boobs growing, and hair sprouting up in all sorts of weird places, along with all sorts of hormonal responses. I told her she would probably turn into this creature that was torture to live with and she would hate her parents. She promised she wouldn’t (I recorded the statement on my phone to play for her when she turns into an evil teenager). She listened to me calmly and patiently. I explained that one of the changes that a woman has is that she starts having periods every month, and thus was the reason that her cousin couldn’t go swimming, because it was her time of the month for a period. Of course, my little information sponge wanted to know all the details about what a period was. Sigh. Onto the next slide.
Up comes the cross section of the internals of female anatomy. At this point, I began getting a bit uncomfortable, but trudged on. After explaining that there were actually three “holes” on a woman in “that special area” and their general purposes (yes I was using 9 year old appropriate words), we moved into discussing what was at the top end of the “middle” hole. This is where the pictures came in. We showed her the fallopian tubes, the ovaries, and the uterus. She asked where hers was. Again with another diagram. She wanted to know where mine was. I told her boys don’t have them because boys don’t have babies – married women do. So far, so good. No questions I couldn’t handle so far.
And she actually seemed to be okay with the discussion thus far, and at first, she seemed to be okay with this point in the conversation, and we couldn’t stop here. I figured I had gotten off lightly, and I had placated her for at least a little while and I wouldn’t have to go into any more detail.
Then I hear
(No, during the course of our conversation, her outfit and hair
didn’t change, and she didn’t grow flesh colored arms and legs…stay on
track, folks!). My thoughts…how the hell did this kid get so smart!!
Oh, wait. She’s my kid. That explains it. So, now time too explain
what a period is and what happens during this time of the month. (Keep
in mind, Connie, Amy’s mom, is helping with this whole conversation, but
a little more freaked out than I am to be having this conversation with
our daughter.)
So we explained that every month, an egg leaves the ovaries for a trip down the tubes into the uterus. She crinkled her nose. In preparation for the arrival, the uterus walls get thick with blood. Of course, she asked why there needs to be blood for the egg. And her mom chimed in at this point and said “In case of fertilization.” Then it hit her what she had said. The room got so quiet that we could hear a pin drop! Holy cow, what if she ask how fertilization happens! Were we ready for that? Could she handle the how babies are made talk? Could I handle the how babies are made talk? I don’t think I took a breath for like an hour, but in reality, it was only 45 seconds while I watched the gears in her head turning…and finally, she said
(Once again, ignore my morphing child! I’m doin this on the fly). Exhale, daddy, breath. So I jump ahead to avoid any more thinking on the potential “fertilization” questions. So I said, if the magic fertilization doesn’t happen, then there is no need for all that blood built up in the uterus, so it has to leave the body.
She thought for awhile, crinkled her nose, and asked where the blood goes. Her mom took over and said that was what the period is…the blood leaving the body through that middle hole, called the vagina. We then spent the next 15 minutes goin over all that female related stuff that is on the special aisle at the grocery aisle, and even showed her how to put one on, just in case, and when it would probably happen to her, and so on. And because her cousin had to wear one of those things, then she couldn’t go swimming.
15 seconds of silence.
Her response…
We did spend a little more time explaining to her that she was going to hear stuff from her friends at school, and from her cousins, and so on, and whatever she heard, it was perfectly okay to come ask one of us for verification. Of course, we told her that NO ONE was allowed to see or touch her special areas (but, she already knew that). And finally, when stuff does start happening (gods forbid), then she could count on us to be there to help her through it. I will be hyperventilating the whole way during that time, but I’ll do it. Its my job after all.
She said thanks, skipped out of the room, and told her cousins that she wanted to go climbing trees. My little tom boy is still here. Whew. She hasn’t grown up and left yet.
So I survived the talk, part one. I am seriously dreading the talk part two, when we go into detail about the magical fertilization stage, and I thank the gods that she didn’t feel the need to ask. Maybe my child just recognized that I was already on edge about this part, and decided to hold her questions until later…probably when she wants something and uses that want to bribe me to not have to tell her part two. I don’t know what I will do when that does comes, but I think I will start preparing my PowerPoint presentation now! Then after that, I gotta start worrying about when the boys start sniffing around. But I already have the place picked out to hide the bodies. That part will be easy!
Love you, FIPWWW!
Just sayin.
(P.S. I borrowed several images from random places on the Internet for this post…if you want me to remove them, just let me know, and I will find someone else who wants to show off their work for free.)
___________________________________
Comments to original post
I had to endure a very traumatic event this weekend. All parents fear it. Dad’s dread it. I was hoping the day would never come. But, alas, it finally arrived. Amy (if your not familiar with my nicknames for family and friends, see the Cast link on the menu, and try to keep up!) finally asked the right questions, which lead to the dreaded talk. I am still shaking.
First and foremost, you all know that Amy is my one and only, and I have no backups. So I am a bit over protective (look at previous post), and have been very persistent in keeping her naive to some of the oddities and realities that come along with the discovery of sex, gender roles, and all the damage that puberty does to the human teenager. She doesn’t watch movies that have any kind of sex references to them, we avoid those “not so fresh feeling” commercials, and when the general question of “how did the baby get in there” has arisen, we always tell her “we will tell you later” or revert to immaculate conception myths. She knows I put her in her mommy’s tummy, but has no concept of how, and we are perfectly happy with that. After all, I thought kissing is how my mom got pregnant with me until I was 12.
She spent most of the summer with her cousins. Her older cousin, who is now 13, somehow managed to blossom from the cute little rambunctious tom boy into a young woman in the matter of less than a year since we last saw them. My jaw almost dropped when she walked in and looked 19 years old! Her younger sister is already on the cusp on blossoming, and we knew that during the time they were going to be hanging out over the summer, someone what gonna notice something, and questions would be asked. We just hoped that we would have another year before having to answer. Sadly, that was not to be the case.
We went to visit them and their grandmothers house, and decided to take the girls swimming. Her older cousin said that she would be staying behind. When Amy asked why, all she said was that she couldn’t go swimming today. All the way to the pool, Amy asked again and again why her cousin couldn’t go swimming with them, and we kept saying that we would tell her later. Luckily, no more questions.
But this weekend, she marched me and Connie into Connie’s room, sat us on the bed, and said (and I quote)
CRAP! There was no getting out of it this time. (No, she wasn’t wearing combat boots with matching oven mitts….just go with it!)
Well, I figured, I am a teacher. Granted, I teach adults, but this little inquisitive creature in front of me couldn’t be all that different. But, nonetheless, I am a teacher, and I could teach anything! I would just have to use not so technical terms and lots of visual aids. So I cranked up the Internet, Google imaged several cross section of that mysterious female anatomy, considered throwing together a nice PowerPoint, and started my lecture. (Connie helped, of course).
I explained that as boys and girls grow older, their bodies change. (Luckily, I didn’t have to say more about boy parts or boy changes at this point…she was perfectly happy to hear about her own expected changes and leave it at that). I explained that those changes included getting taller, boobs growing, and hair sprouting up in all sorts of weird places, along with all sorts of hormonal responses. I told her she would probably turn into this creature that was torture to live with and she would hate her parents. She promised she wouldn’t (I recorded the statement on my phone to play for her when she turns into an evil teenager). She listened to me calmly and patiently. I explained that one of the changes that a woman has is that she starts having periods every month, and thus was the reason that her cousin couldn’t go swimming, because it was her time of the month for a period. Of course, my little information sponge wanted to know all the details about what a period was. Sigh. Onto the next slide.
Up comes the cross section of the internals of female anatomy. At this point, I began getting a bit uncomfortable, but trudged on. After explaining that there were actually three “holes” on a woman in “that special area” and their general purposes (yes I was using 9 year old appropriate words), we moved into discussing what was at the top end of the “middle” hole. This is where the pictures came in. We showed her the fallopian tubes, the ovaries, and the uterus. She asked where hers was. Again with another diagram. She wanted to know where mine was. I told her boys don’t have them because boys don’t have babies – married women do. So far, so good. No questions I couldn’t handle so far.
And she actually seemed to be okay with the discussion thus far, and at first, she seemed to be okay with this point in the conversation, and we couldn’t stop here. I figured I had gotten off lightly, and I had placated her for at least a little while and I wouldn’t have to go into any more detail.
Then I hear
So we explained that every month, an egg leaves the ovaries for a trip down the tubes into the uterus. She crinkled her nose. In preparation for the arrival, the uterus walls get thick with blood. Of course, she asked why there needs to be blood for the egg. And her mom chimed in at this point and said “In case of fertilization.” Then it hit her what she had said. The room got so quiet that we could hear a pin drop! Holy cow, what if she ask how fertilization happens! Were we ready for that? Could she handle the how babies are made talk? Could I handle the how babies are made talk? I don’t think I took a breath for like an hour, but in reality, it was only 45 seconds while I watched the gears in her head turning…and finally, she said
(Once again, ignore my morphing child! I’m doin this on the fly). Exhale, daddy, breath. So I jump ahead to avoid any more thinking on the potential “fertilization” questions. So I said, if the magic fertilization doesn’t happen, then there is no need for all that blood built up in the uterus, so it has to leave the body.
She thought for awhile, crinkled her nose, and asked where the blood goes. Her mom took over and said that was what the period is…the blood leaving the body through that middle hole, called the vagina. We then spent the next 15 minutes goin over all that female related stuff that is on the special aisle at the grocery aisle, and even showed her how to put one on, just in case, and when it would probably happen to her, and so on. And because her cousin had to wear one of those things, then she couldn’t go swimming.
15 seconds of silence.
Her response…
We did spend a little more time explaining to her that she was going to hear stuff from her friends at school, and from her cousins, and so on, and whatever she heard, it was perfectly okay to come ask one of us for verification. Of course, we told her that NO ONE was allowed to see or touch her special areas (but, she already knew that). And finally, when stuff does start happening (gods forbid), then she could count on us to be there to help her through it. I will be hyperventilating the whole way during that time, but I’ll do it. Its my job after all.
She said thanks, skipped out of the room, and told her cousins that she wanted to go climbing trees. My little tom boy is still here. Whew. She hasn’t grown up and left yet.
So I survived the talk, part one. I am seriously dreading the talk part two, when we go into detail about the magical fertilization stage, and I thank the gods that she didn’t feel the need to ask. Maybe my child just recognized that I was already on edge about this part, and decided to hold her questions until later…probably when she wants something and uses that want to bribe me to not have to tell her part two. I don’t know what I will do when that does comes, but I think I will start preparing my PowerPoint presentation now! Then after that, I gotta start worrying about when the boys start sniffing around. But I already have the place picked out to hide the bodies. That part will be easy!
Love you, FIPWWW!
Just sayin.
(P.S. I borrowed several images from random places on the Internet for this post…if you want me to remove them, just let me know, and I will find someone else who wants to show off their work for free.)
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Comments to original post
Josh N Cheri Rodriguez · Works at Oliver W Holmes High School
I
love that she was so curious about SCIENCE! j/k Dude more power to
you for having the talk. My plan is to keep my little girl in diapers
so she never has to wonder why she cant go swimming. I wonder if
huggies makes swim diapers for teenagers?
August 1, 2011 at 10:11pm
- Dwayne Isbell · Registrar at ITT Technical Institute, East Campus
Why not...they make them for adults! That's a GREAT IDEA...too bad I didn't think of it until you mentioned it...she already know swimming. I'll think of something else! :DAugust 1, 2011 at 10:15pm
Bethany Faulkner
Oh,
the humanity! I had a class in school, and got the video about the
excitement and going for ice cream to celebrate...Great job explaining!
August 3, 2011 at 2:22pm
Etasha Ruggs
Bravo!
You did an awesome job. I wish they had PowerPoint when I was her
age...it would have made things so much easier. I just got the "special"
video in school.
August 1, 2011 at 10:18pm
John Hughes: Teenage Expert…better than todays teenage crap movies!
So I can’t take full credit for this particular idea. It actually
comes from two sources. One is one of my favorite bartenders who made a
very interesting Facebook post and the other from a friend of mine who
had never heard of John Hughes, Weird Science, or the Brat Pack.
He’s young – but otherwise genius, so I don’t hold his age against him,
but I figured I take this opportunity to bring back into the limelight John Hughes
and his twisted, if not accurate, perspective of growing up in the
80′s…which, not so ironically, is pretty much the same as it is now.
So, I don’t know if my bartender friend would be happy with me smearing his name all over Dwaynes-World, so we will just call him Bob, for now. If he says it’s okay, then I’ll update this posting later. A few weeks ago, he posted the following on his Facebook…
These titles…and life as a teenager themes…come from the brilliant writer, director, and producer, John Hughes (1950-2009), who managed to take what can be, for some, the most dreary times of their lives (and yes, puberty and high school sucks, no matter how much you dress it up with clicks, extra curricular activities, and coming of age success stories), tosses in a mix of comedy, and manages to throw the message out there without getting all preachy. And the best part it – that message is more accurate that anything you get today! Forgiving the 80′s hair doos, what is now retro clothing, and original versions of music that is nothing but remakes by untalented swill artist who can’t think of anything original to say today, most everyone can relate to some of Hughes genre of movie titles.
What made this series of films so great is the common cast the chose to play the roles of his tormented teenagers, who came to be known as the Brat Pack. Among those labeled with this title (one that many were not happy with for details, read this wiki article), are Emilio Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy, Demi Moore, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, Ally Sheedy, Kevin Bacon, Matthew Broderick, Jon Cryer, John Cusack, Jami Gertz, Mary Stuart Masterson, Sean Penn, Lou Diamond Phillips, Kiefer Sutherland, and Lea Thompson.
(The 80′s Brat Packers can be likened to the the late 90′s group of actors who often appeared in movies and themed films together. This group consisted of Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes, Janeane Garofalo, Jason Lee, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Alan Rickman, Chris Rock, Salma Hayek, Shannen Doherty, Claire Forlani, and even Stan Lee himself.)
My top 5 favorite Hughes films, and a must see for everyone, are
So Ferris is the typical slacker guy at school, more interested in
having fun than getting his education. He has had his fair share of
trouble (mostly with skipping school), and his goodie two shoes sister
wants nothing more than to bust him (hmmm…just realized that Phineas and
Ferb might have picked up a plot line from this movie…but I digress).
Before graduate, Ferris decides to have one more grand slam day, and
ditches school. After an elaborate set up to skip out, he convinces his
parents of his illness and they let him stay home sick. Instead, he
borrows a Farrari, and parties it up. A baseball game, a parade, you
name it, he did it. And his principal is in tow the whole way (along
with his tattletale sister), trying to catch this well known school
skipper. Has a great ending, and snappy little commentary from Ferris
himself throughout the movie, and in the end, even the tattletale sister
ends up on his side. But, wait, won’t say more. Catch the film.
So this one is all about how to skip school. Not really, but it still has the standard Hughes teenage commentary about overbearing parental unit cruelties that we all thought were just to be mean as well as that social status seeking that we all went through. And it is way more realistic than Mean Girls (social status seeking), Bring it On (cutesy cheerleader drivel), or Harry Potter (cruelty from the adults…though, it did turn out to be a great drama).
This has always been one of my favorite all time films. The focus of
this flick – clicks! (ha! nice rhyme!). This film focuses on a group
of high school students who are placed in Saturday detention (OMG – we
needs bring Saturday detention back!!!!!! This in school suspension
crap doesn’t work) for their various “crimes” in school. There is the
popular, rich girl princess; the geeky, straight A student; the oh, so
handsome jock; the pot head, bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks;
and the creepy, weird girl that no one gets (what today is called Emo).
First and foremost, I think that Ally Sheedy played the BEST part in
this movie – especially when they had lunch!. Anyway, these 5, who
would have nothing to do with each other during normal school hours
because it is a crime to cross click lines in the high school hallways,
hafta deal with a demented (and I think slightly emotionally and
mentally worn out due to working in education for too long) principal,
who goes out of his way to catch them doing something they aren’t
suppose to be doing while in detention! And, of course, they spend
their time trying to get away with everything possible! During the
process, the realize that they have more in common, and even put aside
click lines and learn a little about why they are the way they are!
I loved this because I belonged to the geeky, straight B, outcast, wrong side of the track, poor country boy click when I was growing up. Don’t get me wrong, I hated the fact that my family didn’t have the money to buy the name brand clothes or buy me a car (I rode the bus) or that I wasn’t on the football team, and I would never get a chance to be in the popular crowd because I just didn’t measure up in high school click terms. HOWEVER, looking back, I grew up a better person not belonging to those crowds! And I love my parents for all they did give me and I wasn’t a spoiled brat, though my mom (and maybe my sister and brother) will say different from time to time. The look at clicks in the film are classic and right on the ball. Today’s films tend to focus on the popular click, and don’t even bother to go outside the hallways, much less into the lives of the people who belong to the popular clicks.
So there it is. My count down to the best of the best of the John Hughes films. Do yourself a favor. Forget all that crap you see today. It is so fake compared to these films that it isn’t even worth it. Plus, you will get to see some funky hair doos, hear original versions of songs, and see what it was like to really grow up…not get hand held through our teenage years like most high school students do today.
Lets have John Hughes movie night!! Who’s down?
Just Sayin.
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Comments to original post
So, I don’t know if my bartender friend would be happy with me smearing his name all over Dwaynes-World, so we will just call him Bob, for now. If he says it’s okay, then I’ll update this posting later. A few weeks ago, he posted the following on his Facebook…
“Every teenager should eject their Twilight or Harry Potter dvd, and watch every John Hughes movie ever made, then wonder why he read their minds.”
I found this very interesting because I had just watched Weird Science a few hours earlier and was commenting on my Facebook how awesome that movie was. Then later the following day, I commented to my friend (lets call him Space Cowboy for now) that I had just watched Weird Science, and he looked at me like I just grew a second head. He had never heard of it! I threw out a couple of other titles…Pretty in Pink, the Breakfast Club, and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off…all I got was a blank stare. I was shocked! I couldn’t believe that he had never heard of these classic films! Then I got to thinking back on Bob’s post…movies today that speak to the high school and younger crowd and that deal with life as a teenager or young adult are more the Harry Potter and Twilight type series…and are totally irrelevant. (Speaking of Twilight, if you get a chance, check out this blog post from The Oatmeal on the Twilight films…you will be rolling!) But I digress…These titles…and life as a teenager themes…come from the brilliant writer, director, and producer, John Hughes (1950-2009), who managed to take what can be, for some, the most dreary times of their lives (and yes, puberty and high school sucks, no matter how much you dress it up with clicks, extra curricular activities, and coming of age success stories), tosses in a mix of comedy, and manages to throw the message out there without getting all preachy. And the best part it – that message is more accurate that anything you get today! Forgiving the 80′s hair doos, what is now retro clothing, and original versions of music that is nothing but remakes by untalented swill artist who can’t think of anything original to say today, most everyone can relate to some of Hughes genre of movie titles.
What made this series of films so great is the common cast the chose to play the roles of his tormented teenagers, who came to be known as the Brat Pack. Among those labeled with this title (one that many were not happy with for details, read this wiki article), are Emilio Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy, Demi Moore, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, Ally Sheedy, Kevin Bacon, Matthew Broderick, Jon Cryer, John Cusack, Jami Gertz, Mary Stuart Masterson, Sean Penn, Lou Diamond Phillips, Kiefer Sutherland, and Lea Thompson.
(The 80′s Brat Packers can be likened to the the late 90′s group of actors who often appeared in movies and themed films together. This group consisted of Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes, Janeane Garofalo, Jason Lee, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Alan Rickman, Chris Rock, Salma Hayek, Shannen Doherty, Claire Forlani, and even Stan Lee himself.)
My top 5 favorite Hughes films, and a must see for everyone, are
#5: Pretty in Pink
Pretty in Pink. If you’ve never seen it, watch the trailer. If you have, watch the trailer.
So the story goes…A poor girl (Andie) must
choose between the affections of her doting childhood sweetheart
(Duckie) and a rich but sensitive playboy (Blaine). Of course, Duckie,
who is now just the best friend, is is still totally smitten (borrowed
that word from Frenchy!) with Andie, and when she finally gets a date
with Blaine, the man of her dreams, the social clicks are not too
thrilled that they are together. Of course, he makes all the right
moves, but leads her to make the right choice…and, it all plays out on
prom night, and well, I don’t want to ruin the film for you, but she has
to make a choice…
I don’t know bout you, but there was always
that “perfect person” that I was so in love with, that was hot, that I
thought would make my life great, that if I could only be with them,
then all my problems would go away. And to make things worse, that
person was totally unreachable. Hell, that still happens today!
Meanwhile, I had that person I considered “my best friend” felt the same
way about me. But I never noticed my best friend…I was too focused on
the untouchable.
It’s the same dilemma every person faces
today…even those that are considered the untouchable. The story hasn’t
changed…just the clicks, and even then, the clicks are the same…just
different people in the same spots. We find that what we want, and
whats best for us don’t always go hand in hand. Or, even better, that
what we get what we wish for, things aren’t as great as they seemed they
would be.
#4: Weird Science
Along the same lines of hard choices of
love…or maybe just fitting in, comes Weird Science. Again…if you’ve
never seen it, screw the trailer…go rent the damn movie!
Gary and Wyatt are a couple of best friends
who want nothing more than to fit in. Gary likes to think himself
cool, but comes from parents who are raving old school, bible beating
lunatics who have raised him to be a bit shy when it comes to taking a
risk. Wyatt spends more time worrying about what others are going to
think always tries to live up to his families expectations, which he
thinks he never does, and has an older brother who enjoys nothing more
than making his life a living hell. The thing is, both Gary and Wyatt
spend more time trying to impress others, or do things they think will
impress other, that they totally miss out on just being themselves. So
what do they do? They use their smarts (yes, they are the not so
typical nerds) and create the perfect woman, Lisa, out of an antiquated
computer, a freak lightening storm, bras on their heads, and a barbie
doll. Lisa, who possess a unique perspective and some very unique
“magic,” leads them on several adventures in an attempt to get them to
learn that valuable lesson that many of us learn way to late in life –
BE YOURSELF! Again, not going to ruin the film, so you gotta go watch
it! It is WELL worth it!
#3: Sixteen Candles
16 Candles comes in third on my list.
Why? Well, primarily, because it is funny as hell. Especially the
scene where Samantha gets felt up by her grandmother! With this cutesy
little story, Samantha is 15 years old, getting ready to celebrate her
16th, and her family is so caught up with whats going on, they forget
(or she feels like they have forgotten) her upcoming birthday. At the
same time, she is heads over heals with the most popular guy on campus
(I mean, really, who isn’t!), while being pursued by the weirdest and
“geekiest” boy at school. To make matters worse, her older sister is
getting married, and her family just inherited a foreign exchange
student by the name of Long Duc Dong!! This one is one of the funniest
of the whole set.
And also, very relate-able. I remember the
day when I thought that my family either didn’t understand anything
that was going on in my life or just didn’t care. Even when they tried
to show they cared, I just didn’t see it. I even remember telling my
parents there is no way they could understand, because apparently, they
had been born parents and couldn’t see it from my point of view. And
every kid goes through that! This movie is so much better about
integrating this rite of passage than freakin Bella Swan and people not
understanding her need to choose between a vampire or a dog! Seriously!
#2: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
This flick is kinda out of the Brat Pack genre, but nonetheless is one of Hughes better films: Ferris Bueller’s Day OffSo this one is all about how to skip school. Not really, but it still has the standard Hughes teenage commentary about overbearing parental unit cruelties that we all thought were just to be mean as well as that social status seeking that we all went through. And it is way more realistic than Mean Girls (social status seeking), Bring it On (cutesy cheerleader drivel), or Harry Potter (cruelty from the adults…though, it did turn out to be a great drama).
#1: The Breakfast Club
And my top John Hughes film choice is…. The Breakfast Club!I loved this because I belonged to the geeky, straight B, outcast, wrong side of the track, poor country boy click when I was growing up. Don’t get me wrong, I hated the fact that my family didn’t have the money to buy the name brand clothes or buy me a car (I rode the bus) or that I wasn’t on the football team, and I would never get a chance to be in the popular crowd because I just didn’t measure up in high school click terms. HOWEVER, looking back, I grew up a better person not belonging to those crowds! And I love my parents for all they did give me and I wasn’t a spoiled brat, though my mom (and maybe my sister and brother) will say different from time to time. The look at clicks in the film are classic and right on the ball. Today’s films tend to focus on the popular click, and don’t even bother to go outside the hallways, much less into the lives of the people who belong to the popular clicks.
So there it is. My count down to the best of the best of the John Hughes films. Do yourself a favor. Forget all that crap you see today. It is so fake compared to these films that it isn’t even worth it. Plus, you will get to see some funky hair doos, hear original versions of songs, and see what it was like to really grow up…not get hand held through our teenage years like most high school students do today.
Lets have John Hughes movie night!! Who’s down?
Just Sayin.
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Comments to original post
Jeremy Wayne Monett · ITT Technical Institute
You
can't do John Hughes without doing The Great outdoors.Planes trains and
automobiles, and Uncle Buck! Particularly Uncle Buck.
June 20, 2011 at 10:00am
- Dwayne Isbell · Registrar at ITT Technical Institute, East Campus
True, but I was focusing more on the John Hughes life of a teenager genera...so neither of those you mentioned would fit in. Maybe I will do a total tribute to Hughes later, and do an overall top 5.June 20, 2011 at 10:55am
Roman A. Guerra · English Teacher JV Baseball coach at Edcouch-Elsa ISD
that if I could only be with them, then all my problems would go away....was it a Freudian slip that you said, "them" LOL.
June 20, 2011 at 12:35am
- Dwayne Isbell · Registrar at ITT Technical Institute, East Campus
Possibly...I had alot of crushes in HS!! :D. What can I say ... :)June 20, 2011 at 12:40am
Christopher Mendoza
haha I have seen sixteen candles and ferris buellers day off :P I'm not that bad haha.
June 20, 2011 at 12:30pm
- Dwayne Isbell · Registrar at ITT Technical Institute, East Campus
Yeah, but you didn't know Weird Science....but I called you a genius, so its all good. :DJune 20, 2011 at 1:08pm
Bethany Faulkner
Hey, Mean Girls was pretty good if you had ever been a girl in High School! Otherwise, you have, as always, outdones yourself!
June 20, 2011 at 8:35am
Oops...there's something I need to tell you...
(Originally posted 06/03/2011)
So, I downtown taking care of some business on my free time, and I happen to come across this poster halfway hanging from the side of a building. It had an interesting look to it, and hey, I've got time to kill, so I go to check it out....
Of course, I think this is just another one of the billions of the have safe sex posters, signage, and notifications that we are bombarded with on a daily basis. But...look closely...and then check out the site...its just proof that the Internet can and is used for EVERYTHING - including anonymously notifying one of your many flings you may have left them with a little gift! (Notice the fine print: This is from a friend at inSpot: the STD Internet Notification Service for Partners or Tricks). Hehehehehe.
inSpot.org provides two free services: 1) locate a center near you where you can be tested for HIV or other STD's, and 2) notify someone you may have infected anonymously via E-mail with a cute little e-Card.
Great idea for three reasons. 1) if I'm puttin my junk somewhere it shouldn't be goin, then I wanna be able to find a quick and easy way to get tested to make sure I didn't take away more than I bargained for. 2) if I put my junk somewhere and left behind more than they bargained for (even if I didn't mean too), I wanna be able to tell them WITHOUT THEM KNOWING IT WAS ME! And 3) If your junk gave my junk cooties, you better hope to the gods that I don't get my hands on you-so this anonymous little card may be the only thing that saves your life!
Now, seriously, #1 and #2 is not something I worry about. My junk is picky where it goes and who it plays with, and I have a doc that can check up on these things for me if anything out of the ordinary pops up (no pun intended). When my junk plays with someone elses junk, I generally know that person well enough not to worry about getting cooties. But I think that if I were to open my e-Mail one day, and find something like the following:
I
would probably have a heart attack. First off, I can guarantee you I
will know who it is from. And secondly, those cutesy little faces are
not going to make life any better-thank you very much for the attempt to
soften the blow (pun intended). Of course, I would take care of
business, get tested, get treated, and being to plan my revenge.
While I think this is awesome that there is something out there like this, I am thinking: seriously!! WTF! Basically, it allows one to tell someone else if they gave them something they probably don't want, but it also allows one to not take responsibility! I guess at least notifying them is something, but, still...think about it.
There are some basic rules when it comes to puttin out:
Play. But play safe.
Just sayin.
(PS...I lifted these images from inSpot.org. I'm providing free advertising, so I hope you don't mind.)
___________________________
Comments to origional post
So, I downtown taking care of some business on my free time, and I happen to come across this poster halfway hanging from the side of a building. It had an interesting look to it, and hey, I've got time to kill, so I go to check it out....
Of course, I think this is just another one of the billions of the have safe sex posters, signage, and notifications that we are bombarded with on a daily basis. But...look closely...and then check out the site...its just proof that the Internet can and is used for EVERYTHING - including anonymously notifying one of your many flings you may have left them with a little gift! (Notice the fine print: This is from a friend at inSpot: the STD Internet Notification Service for Partners or Tricks). Hehehehehe.
inSpot.org provides two free services: 1) locate a center near you where you can be tested for HIV or other STD's, and 2) notify someone you may have infected anonymously via E-mail with a cute little e-Card.
Great idea for three reasons. 1) if I'm puttin my junk somewhere it shouldn't be goin, then I wanna be able to find a quick and easy way to get tested to make sure I didn't take away more than I bargained for. 2) if I put my junk somewhere and left behind more than they bargained for (even if I didn't mean too), I wanna be able to tell them WITHOUT THEM KNOWING IT WAS ME! And 3) If your junk gave my junk cooties, you better hope to the gods that I don't get my hands on you-so this anonymous little card may be the only thing that saves your life!
Now, seriously, #1 and #2 is not something I worry about. My junk is picky where it goes and who it plays with, and I have a doc that can check up on these things for me if anything out of the ordinary pops up (no pun intended). When my junk plays with someone elses junk, I generally know that person well enough not to worry about getting cooties. But I think that if I were to open my e-Mail one day, and find something like the following:
While I think this is awesome that there is something out there like this, I am thinking: seriously!! WTF! Basically, it allows one to tell someone else if they gave them something they probably don't want, but it also allows one to not take responsibility! I guess at least notifying them is something, but, still...think about it.
There are some basic rules when it comes to puttin out:
- Keep it in your pants.
- If you ignore rule one, then COVER IT UP when you use it.
- If you ignore rules one and two, then if you get something, or give something, then at least have the BALLS TO TELL THEM TO THEIR FACE!! After all, you were looking them in the face (or maybe the back of their head) when you gave it to them!
Play. But play safe.
Just sayin.
(PS...I lifted these images from inSpot.org. I'm providing free advertising, so I hope you don't mind.)
___________________________
Comments to origional post
I enjoy the freedom to ...
(Originally posted 05/30/2011)
Work where I choose (Because you chose to defend our country)
I choose (Because of you)
I choose (Because of you)
Thank you for my right to choose.
I have the freedom to go for what I choose, when I choose, where I choose, and how I choose. Those wants may not always be the best choice for me, and sometimes I may get in trouble for them, but the point is, I have the freedom to choose. And those freedoms are thanks to you, the men and women of our armed forces that fight to protect our nation and the freedoms that come with being a citizen of this great nation. I could not choose what I want, or even be aware of these freedoms had
it not been for you living, and dying, to protect the very ideas that
make America what it is today. Sure, we have our issues and problems,
and we don’t always agree. But that is the freedom of choice that we have to make.
We devote every day to you with every choice we have and every freedom we enjoy. Memorial Day, is a special day to devote to you, those who have fallen, in order to keep those choices we take for granted every day. And sadly, people even take for granted this most solemn day. It’s not just another holiday where we don’t have to go to work. It’s not just another commercial holiday where marketers reduce their prices. It’s not a day devoted to BBQ with friends and family. It’s not a day to serve as a 3 day weekend for a trip to the beach or stay out all night on Sunday night at the bar. That’s not its purpose. It’s a day to remember those who lay and have laid down their lives for us to have the freedoms to take a day off, to have a BBQ, to spend the night getting drunk, to shop for discount prices, and drive across the country because we choose. Celebrate it right, and no matter what you’re doing, remember, and say thank you to the men and women in uniform, either in person, or at the sites of their burials, for the sacrifice they made so that you have the to choose.
To our troops, current and past, this blogger thanks you for all you do, for serving our country, and by extension, my freedom, and to the soldiers and families of those soldiers who have lost their lives in their sacred chosen duty to our nation, thank you for your sacrifice to keep the Land of the Free just that – free.
Just sayin.
__________________________________
Comments made to original post
Work where I choose (Because you chose to defend our country)
Go to school where I choose (Because you chose to lay you life on the line)
Study what I choose (Because you chose to devote your life)
Eat what I choose (Because you chose to make a sacrifice)
Praise what I choose (Because you chose to believe in our society)
Date whom I choose (Because you chose us first)
Read what I choose (Because you chose to put on the uniform)
Spend time with who I choose (Because you chose to stand on the front lines)
Live where I choose (Because you chose to train)
Say what I choose (Because you chose to become the best of the best)
Buy what I choose (Because you chose to face danger)
Drive what I choose (Because you chose to guard our beliefs)
Marry who I choose (Because you chose to protect and serve)
Visit who I choose (Because you chose to leave your loved ones behind)
Vote for who I choose (Because you chose to honor our ideas)
Drink when I choose (Because you chose to battle those who would hurt us)
Sleep in when I choose (Because you choose to preserve our way of life)
Sleep with whom I choose (Because you chose to safeguard our principles)
Watch what I choose (Because you died in our defense)
Believe what I choose (Because you chose to run headlong into battle)
Raise my child how I choose (Because you chose to go into uncertain danger)
Pray how I choose (Because you chose the needs of the many)
Serve how I choose (Because you chose to define heroism)
Pay what I choose (Because you chose to secure our rights)
Listen to the music I choose (Because you chose to cherish our constitution)
Think what I choose (Because you chose my life over yours)
Live as I choose (Because you choose)
I choose (Because of you)
I choose (Because of you)
I choose (Because of you)
Thank you for my right to choose.
We devote every day to you with every choice we have and every freedom we enjoy. Memorial Day, is a special day to devote to you, those who have fallen, in order to keep those choices we take for granted every day. And sadly, people even take for granted this most solemn day. It’s not just another holiday where we don’t have to go to work. It’s not just another commercial holiday where marketers reduce their prices. It’s not a day devoted to BBQ with friends and family. It’s not a day to serve as a 3 day weekend for a trip to the beach or stay out all night on Sunday night at the bar. That’s not its purpose. It’s a day to remember those who lay and have laid down their lives for us to have the freedoms to take a day off, to have a BBQ, to spend the night getting drunk, to shop for discount prices, and drive across the country because we choose. Celebrate it right, and no matter what you’re doing, remember, and say thank you to the men and women in uniform, either in person, or at the sites of their burials, for the sacrifice they made so that you have the to choose.
To our troops, current and past, this blogger thanks you for all you do, for serving our country, and by extension, my freedom, and to the soldiers and families of those soldiers who have lost their lives in their sacred chosen duty to our nation, thank you for your sacrifice to keep the Land of the Free just that – free.
Just sayin.
__________________________________
Comments made to original post
Nikki H Gomaa
I think this totally sums up Memorial Day. As you said above: Thank.
You Men and Women for your Sacrifice, without it, we would not be free. Now let's Celebrate Our Freedom!
You Men and Women for your Sacrifice, without it, we would not be free. Now let's Celebrate Our Freedom!
May 29, 2011 at 8:11am
Gina Shubin · Works at The Home Depot
Birthday Wishes
(Originally Posted 04/11/2011)
Yeah, I know. Seems kinda selfish and pretentious to post my birthday wishes on my blog page, but, because I care, and I realize that some of you are stressing HARD about what you are going to do to celebrate my special day, I am providing the following list for you. Plus, it's my page and my birthday, dammit, so here they are! (You only have 7 days left, so better hurry!)
PS...I don't think any of these "wishes" are too much to ask...
PS – I wasn’t kidding about the gas card and $$$ in a card! Just sayin.
Yeah, I know. Seems kinda selfish and pretentious to post my birthday wishes on my blog page, but, because I care, and I realize that some of you are stressing HARD about what you are going to do to celebrate my special day, I am providing the following list for you. Plus, it's my page and my birthday, dammit, so here they are! (You only have 7 days left, so better hurry!)
PS...I don't think any of these "wishes" are too much to ask...
- A winning lottery ticket. Doesn't have to be "the big one," just a couple mil so that I can get out of this goshforsaken debt! And throw a big party. PS - note the key word in there...WINNING lottery ticket.
- Never hafta clean my bathroom again. Don't get me wrong - I need it cleaned, I just don't want to be the one to clean it! I will do the rest of the house, but I HATE cleaning bathrooms! If you volunteer to do this chore for me, then you will be free from having to gift any other birthdays for the rest of my life!
- A new wardrobe. While you at it, I need to lose about 90 more pounds, get rid of my widows peak, and get some face work done (save the cracks, you jerks!). After that, you can throw in the wardrobe.
- I needa meet Jake Gyllenhaal. Don't read into it! I just think he's a gifted actor and I love his movies. If you love me, you will make it happen. 'Nuf said
- I miss birthday cards from my family with $$$ in them! They stopped happening around the time I was 25. What’s that all about!??!!
- Lower gas prices...again. I filled up my car the other day and it cost me nearly 60 bucks! WTF!!! A gas card perhaps!? :D
- A little understanding and for people to swallow their own damn pride! I am so sick of all of this crap where people are bashing each other because of gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, etc. Get over yourselves! Were all different - that's what keeps life interesting.
- Get rid of the ENTIRE current population of our government and start over from scratch with people in those spots! Some of those geezers have been there since dirt was invented and are more interested in their own selves than the people the represent.
- The perfect relationship! No liars, not cheats, no losers, no wimps, no jealous drama laden person who takes more than they give. Someone to spend my days and nights with, good and bad. I know there out there! They just keep eluding me! (Honestly, at this point, I would settle for A relationship! Man, these nights are getting COLD!)
- Did I mention a winning lottery ticket?
- A second job! The industry is so bad right now and I am SOOOOO broke I can't pay for that damn expensive gas to get back and forth to work! I'll do anything! Just use me for something! I ain't picky! (Wait, that sounds really bad! - don't be pervs!)
- <I am reserving this spot for when I think of more things that I want for my birthday…> If you think of anything else I might want, let me know and I'll add it to the list! Maybe.
PS – I wasn’t kidding about the gas card and $$$ in a card! Just sayin.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Geez...you would think I had just stabbed a priest or something!
(Originally posted on 04/07/2011)
I was going to say "shot the president," but I didn't feel the need to have the FBI busting down my door within minutes of posting this! Hmmmm...I wonder if they will since I said it in the body instead of the title.
Anywho, today, something interesting happened. And tho I have been seeing this whole bigotry happening for a LOOOONNGGG time now, it just really was shoved in my face today.
First, I am sick. Like I feel like hammered shit. I ache, sore throat, low grade temp, and I took my day off to sleep and self medicate. Now I can't sleep, and I still feel like shit, so blog here I am. Oops...off topic again.
Anyway, at some point, I decided to make a run to the store to get some of Sprite since none of my so called friends came by to check on me and make sure I wasn't one foot in the grave. For the record, I am not, thanks for asking! Anyway, I went to the store to get Sprite.
As I waited in line, I noticed that I was low on cigarettes and decided to stock up. Not that I was smoking much today cause my throat is sore and none of my friends came to check up on me. But I digress again. After waiting nearly 10 minutes with my 2 liter of overpriced soda behind the gramps who sorted through his retirement plan (aka, lottery ticket purchases) for which he paid in quarters and dimes, I finally made it to the counter. I placed my soda on the counter and placed my well rehearsed order for my cancer in a box.
Of course, they didn't have them out on display...they had to go dig for my brand as the shipment just came in. While I wait patiently, a very large woman (to quote Keiser....orca big) cleared her throat and proceeded to lecture me on the dangers of smoking. The conversation went something like this:
Shamu: You do know that those things will kill you, don't you?
Me: And that extra 600 pounds you are carrying around on your waist, kneecaps, and cankles won't kill you?
Shamu: Excuse me!
Around
this time, the cashier returns with my death in a box, I pay my sin
tax, and am on my way. It got me to thinking. Why the hell am I being
judged because I like to smoke. Yes, I like to smoke. And I am being
judged by not only Orca lady, but by society in general! We sit and
bitch and moan about being judgmental all day long and twice on
Sunday! We get upset if someone says something or post something or
believes in something contrary to what we believe, sometimes going to
war over it! Yet, it is okay for people as a society to decide that my
choice of bad habits is taboo and therefore okay to judge me on it?
As I drove home thinking about Orca lady, I lit up, rolled down my window and turned on my music to relax. I am at a stop light, and the lady in the car next to me actually had the nerve to ask me to roll up my window because the smoke was making her sick. I nearly flicked my cigarette in her car...which, by the way, was loaded down with empty beer cans in the back seat and a case in the front seat - not that I am judging or anything.
I was fuming, but like usual, I swallowed my pride, ran the light, and went home to take more meds and sleep some more.
It all comes down to this...
The
jackasses that run our country decided that they didn't want to risk
another prohibition (for those of you in our current education system -
that was when they actually outlawed alcohol and it was an abysmal
failure, but I don't expect you to know that - not because you weren't
taught that - you were, but because you are not held accountable for
your own education, so you don't bother to learn, and then blame the
teachers for it - ugh - sorry - sick and on the soap box) decided that
smoking should be taboo, and the process of turning it into a social
outcast activity began.
First, it became illegal to smoke on
federal or state property, including public schools, libraries, court
houses, etc. Okay. I can deal with that.
Next, a sin tax is posed on cigarettes (along with other things that are considered socially amoral, even though they are practiced by pretty much everyone). Supposedly, the money that was garnered from the sin tax was suppose to go towards education, but keep in mind that teachers are being laid off left and right, so we know it didn't go where it was suppose to. Ugh - stay on topic, Dwayne.
Next, it became legal for private corporations and companies to ban smoking on their properties - this long after the federal and state owned properties became non-smoking. So now, my job included, I am not allowed to smoke...I have to cross the street. I can't even sit in my car and smoke.
THEN - cities and states decided that it is not okay to smoke in restaurants and bars...I am okay with restaurants, but in bars! Next they will be telling me that I can't even smoke in my own home!
So now, not only am I severely limited on where I can smoke, I pay out the ass to do so, and I get treated like I just stabbed a priest or held up a dead baby sign while doing so. And the RIGHT to smoke is still being chiseled away.
I am incensed because I make a choice to smoke. I like to smoke. I like the way that it relaxes me. I wish it didn't have the bad smell that comes with it, but to be honest, as a smoker, I like the smell! And I miss it when I don't smoke for a long period of time. The point is...ITS MY CHOICE! And by choice, I do NOT smoke in restaurants. I do not smoke in my own car when other people are in it with me. I do not smoke in non smoking areas. I do not smoke in other peoples home or cars. I DO smoke in bars because that is when I like to smoke the most-unless, of course, the bar is non-smoking. Then I just don't go there. I don't smoke at home all that often. I smoke at work when it gets stressful. My point is...I DO NOT push my smoking habit off on other people. So why, oh why, does society decide to push their NON-SMOKING off on me!
I realize that it is just a taboo thing to do, but some people make it out to be worse than farting in a crowded elevator or peeing in a public drinking fountain. If you don't want to smoke, then don't smoke. Your choice. I want to smoke. I accept the risk of my choice. I realize that it will kill me someday, but then again, if it doesn't then something else will. Just keep your damn mouth shut unless I am breaking the rules and smoking in a place where it is not allowed.
Before you start throwing stones (not just the individual - but society in general), take a look at some of the stuff that you do in your own home! How about I start pushing for lobbying against that? How about something that you enjoy doing (moral or amoral) becomes a social taboo just because someone else disagrees with it? I thought this was country of freedom? Remember, when you are pointing at someone, you are point four fingers right back at yourself.
Also remember this - if smoking is allowed, I am going to smoke. If you don't like it, move to a non-smoking area. Its my choice...I am not pushing it off on you...don't push your choice off on me. And for the record - OUTDOORS is a SMOKING AREA! If I am the required 50 feet away from the door of a building, then I am OUTDOORS and I WILL SMOKE. Don't walk into my cloud to tell me it is bothering you. Walk the other way.
I'm just saying. Ignore my rants...I'm sick and irritated. Tomorrow I will be better.
PS - I jest about my friends not checking in - mom texted, and several of my buddies did call and check up or made post...but for those of you who didn't = >raspberry on you!
_________________________________
Comments made on original post
I was going to say "shot the president," but I didn't feel the need to have the FBI busting down my door within minutes of posting this! Hmmmm...I wonder if they will since I said it in the body instead of the title.
Anywho, today, something interesting happened. And tho I have been seeing this whole bigotry happening for a LOOOONNGGG time now, it just really was shoved in my face today.
First, I am sick. Like I feel like hammered shit. I ache, sore throat, low grade temp, and I took my day off to sleep and self medicate. Now I can't sleep, and I still feel like shit, so blog here I am. Oops...off topic again.
Anyway, at some point, I decided to make a run to the store to get some of Sprite since none of my so called friends came by to check on me and make sure I wasn't one foot in the grave. For the record, I am not, thanks for asking! Anyway, I went to the store to get Sprite.
As I waited in line, I noticed that I was low on cigarettes and decided to stock up. Not that I was smoking much today cause my throat is sore and none of my friends came to check up on me. But I digress again. After waiting nearly 10 minutes with my 2 liter of overpriced soda behind the gramps who sorted through his retirement plan (aka, lottery ticket purchases) for which he paid in quarters and dimes, I finally made it to the counter. I placed my soda on the counter and placed my well rehearsed order for my cancer in a box.
Of course, they didn't have them out on display...they had to go dig for my brand as the shipment just came in. While I wait patiently, a very large woman (to quote Keiser....orca big) cleared her throat and proceeded to lecture me on the dangers of smoking. The conversation went something like this:
Shamu: You do know that those things will kill you, don't you?
I
notice at this point that she is holding onto 3 convenient store hot
dogs, large bag of chips, and diet cola in her hands, not to mention the
king sized candy bar in her pocket. So I say in a very loud and
praising voice...
Me: Oh My Gosh! I had no idea!! Thank you, oh Thank you for saving my life!!!!
Then I rolled my eyes and turned away
Shamu: I'm being serious! Smoking kills!Me: And that extra 600 pounds you are carrying around on your waist, kneecaps, and cankles won't kill you?
Those of you that know me know that I speak my mind...especially when I am in a foul mood...
Shamu: There is no need to judge me!
Me: That's the pot calling the kettle black!Shamu: Excuse me!
At
this point, she shifts her hefty weight onto one leg, and begins
bobbing her head. I might also mention at this point that Shamu is
"African American"
Me: Just mind your own fuchin business and leave me alone.
As I drove home thinking about Orca lady, I lit up, rolled down my window and turned on my music to relax. I am at a stop light, and the lady in the car next to me actually had the nerve to ask me to roll up my window because the smoke was making her sick. I nearly flicked my cigarette in her car...which, by the way, was loaded down with empty beer cans in the back seat and a case in the front seat - not that I am judging or anything.
I was fuming, but like usual, I swallowed my pride, ran the light, and went home to take more meds and sleep some more.
It all comes down to this...
First, it became illegal to smoke on
federal or state property, including public schools, libraries, court
houses, etc. Okay. I can deal with that.Next, a sin tax is posed on cigarettes (along with other things that are considered socially amoral, even though they are practiced by pretty much everyone). Supposedly, the money that was garnered from the sin tax was suppose to go towards education, but keep in mind that teachers are being laid off left and right, so we know it didn't go where it was suppose to. Ugh - stay on topic, Dwayne.
Next, it became legal for private corporations and companies to ban smoking on their properties - this long after the federal and state owned properties became non-smoking. So now, my job included, I am not allowed to smoke...I have to cross the street. I can't even sit in my car and smoke.
THEN - cities and states decided that it is not okay to smoke in restaurants and bars...I am okay with restaurants, but in bars! Next they will be telling me that I can't even smoke in my own home!
So now, not only am I severely limited on where I can smoke, I pay out the ass to do so, and I get treated like I just stabbed a priest or held up a dead baby sign while doing so. And the RIGHT to smoke is still being chiseled away.
I am incensed because I make a choice to smoke. I like to smoke. I like the way that it relaxes me. I wish it didn't have the bad smell that comes with it, but to be honest, as a smoker, I like the smell! And I miss it when I don't smoke for a long period of time. The point is...ITS MY CHOICE! And by choice, I do NOT smoke in restaurants. I do not smoke in my own car when other people are in it with me. I do not smoke in non smoking areas. I do not smoke in other peoples home or cars. I DO smoke in bars because that is when I like to smoke the most-unless, of course, the bar is non-smoking. Then I just don't go there. I don't smoke at home all that often. I smoke at work when it gets stressful. My point is...I DO NOT push my smoking habit off on other people. So why, oh why, does society decide to push their NON-SMOKING off on me!
I realize that it is just a taboo thing to do, but some people make it out to be worse than farting in a crowded elevator or peeing in a public drinking fountain. If you don't want to smoke, then don't smoke. Your choice. I want to smoke. I accept the risk of my choice. I realize that it will kill me someday, but then again, if it doesn't then something else will. Just keep your damn mouth shut unless I am breaking the rules and smoking in a place where it is not allowed.
Before you start throwing stones (not just the individual - but society in general), take a look at some of the stuff that you do in your own home! How about I start pushing for lobbying against that? How about something that you enjoy doing (moral or amoral) becomes a social taboo just because someone else disagrees with it? I thought this was country of freedom? Remember, when you are pointing at someone, you are point four fingers right back at yourself.
Also remember this - if smoking is allowed, I am going to smoke. If you don't like it, move to a non-smoking area. Its my choice...I am not pushing it off on you...don't push your choice off on me. And for the record - OUTDOORS is a SMOKING AREA! If I am the required 50 feet away from the door of a building, then I am OUTDOORS and I WILL SMOKE. Don't walk into my cloud to tell me it is bothering you. Walk the other way.
I'm just saying. Ignore my rants...I'm sick and irritated. Tomorrow I will be better.
PS - I jest about my friends not checking in - mom texted, and several of my buddies did call and check up or made post...but for those of you who didn't = >raspberry on you!
_________________________________
Comments made on original post
Sarah Rivers · Northeastern State University
Dwayne,
you are absolutely right. I personally choose not to smoke. I grew up
with my parents who were heavy smokers and got asked one time (by Mr.
Rose - the HS principal) if I smoked because I always smelled like it. I
was so embarassed. That alone made me not want to. But we do live in a
society where we are automatically judged by what we do. We could be
the greatest, most kind, giving person in the world...but God forbid we
have a habit that society deems wrong. That's instant grounds for
execution. It is your right to choose to smoke just like it's my right
to choose not to. My hats off to you Dwayne.
April 7, 2011 at 9:10am
Roman A. Guerra · English Teacher JV Baseball coach at Edcouch-Elsa ISD
Very
well said D. I agree with you that everyone wants to push their views
on you though you clearly state you CHOOSE to smoke. You know I don't
smoke, but I did have cancer. Yet, I still feel it is up to that person.
I have nothing against you smoking, but like you said, just don't do it
where you're not supposed to. Everyone else can S**K it! LOL ps the
teacher stuff is awesome as well.
April 7, 2011 at 12:10am
Bethany Faulkner
I am just going to start the campaign...I will vote Dwayne Isbell in 2012!
April 7, 2011 at 8:45am
Etasha Ruggs
Oh how I love this! I am singing your praises to all that can hear.
April 7, 2011 at 7:05pm
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