I've been posting various items over the past 2 week hinting that something nefarious happened to me recently and that I'd eventually write about it. Well, something nefarious did happen, and I'm still dealing with the repercussions. These repercussions aren't just the physical and financial, but the emotional as well. While I may smile and joke about it when speaking to others, it's still turmoil inside when I am alone in my head. Additionally, I have no desire or need for pity, and I figured an immediate post on my various social media outlets would seem like a cry for attention.
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| Night of the Attack |
It has been a little over a week, and I've had much time to ponder this little event, and in the big scheme of things, it was a little event. Now it's time to say my peace.
Last Sunday, after spending time with my sister, I came home, parked, and was heading to my apartment when 4 kids (around 16 or 17 years old) decided that they really needed my wallet and the contents of my pockets. A gun was shoved in my face, various threats on my life were made, and then I was hit in the face hard enough that a guy my size went down. My pockets were rummaged through and emptied, and I was left laying there bleeding from my nose and mouth. Yup. You guessed it. Your common, garden variety mugging.
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| 2 Days Later |
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| 3 Days Leter |
I did what I was suppose to do. When they demanded my wallet, I gave it to them. No fighting. No mouthing off. Looking down the barrel of the cannon sized gun in my face had more or less frozen my tongue anyway. That, and that the only thought that was in my head was that I was never going to see my Fpitwww again. They felt the need to pop me in the eye anyway. At least it was with a fist and not a bullet. In the end, they got away with $20 and the keys to my car, though, for some reason, they didn't take the car.
After I gave my police report and the EMS checked me out, I started making all my calls to the credit card companies. It was nearly 4AM before I finally got to bed. Note: I didn't say sleep. I just lay there feeling more violated than any other time in my life. And though it has been almost 2 weeks, I am still angry and feeling violated beyond belief. Sure, it was just a black eye and a little roughing up. But I can't get that image of the gun in my face out of my head.
So far, this has cost me around $400 bucks to clean up. The eye is healing. The scrapes on my knees and hands are pretty much gone. The drivers license and SS card has been replaced (yes, I know...I shouldn't carry my SS card...lesson learned). But the emotional and mental wounds are still there. I get extremely anxious when I arrive in the parking lot of my complex after dark. I end up driving around for about 10 minutes checking out every nook and cranny. Heck, I get anxious when I see anyone out and about after dark. Every little noise wakes me up (they got my driver's license, so know specifically where I live).
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| One week Later |
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| 9 Days Later |
But more than that, I just can't believe that people do things like this to other people. Sure, I see it on TV all of the time and read about it in the paper and in books. But to actually be "the victim!?" Who the hell do these guys think they are for doing this? What did they get out of it? Why did they pick me? Why do they do it at all? What kind of world do we live in where a guy has to fear for his life walking 50 feet to his home. This theft and assault wasn't based on a need for money, but a need for a thrill. And that is what makes it all the more sad. I know that I need to get over it. It happens all the time. But this one happens to me. I'm not afraid to say that I'm afraid.
Either way, I'm working on getting past this. Slowly, but still going to get past it. Yes, I'm angry as hell that these assholes messed with me, but in the end, I lived. No extra holes in my body, and I'm still breathing. And, I got to hold my baby girl. I still feel the need to run to my apartment every time I come home after dark. I haven't been any further than home or work since that night. And, this guy who has never been interested in owning a weapon has decided it is time to get a concealed carry license and a gun to go along with it. I've been told that it takes more than the weapon on my hip to feel safe. I have to be willing to use it. If it keeps me from feeling like I did that night and the two weeks after, then so be it.
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| Today-13 Days Later |
I will not be a victim again.
And just for fun, I got my replacement drivers license today. They wouldn't use my old picture on the replacement license. So I have this reminder for at least the next 4 years.
